As I prepare for my annual trip to Graceland, I looked through some old stuff. Here are some notes on my annual Graceland trip I forwarded to friends back in 2006.
-You no longer have to pay to park in the official Graceland parking lot.
-The Graceland Crossing souvenir mall is now called “Elvis After Dark”. It is an official Elvis property now and has an arcade.
-George Klein (member of the Memphis Mafia) actually looks younger now than when he hosted “Dance Party” on WHBQ-TV in the early 70’s.
-You can argue as loud as you want to in a souvenir store if you are German, shave all your hair off except for a very short oblong circle on the crown of your head that you dye orange, wear dark sunglasses, army boots and a kilt. This is especially true if you are female and are arguing with your sister who is dressed the same way.
-Blue Hawaii costs $29.99 on DVD in the shops at Graceland. The same DVD costs $5.50 at Wal-Mart.
-A paper Japanese lantern does an effective job of protecting a candle from the wind at the candlelight vigil and looks neat in pictures.
-Not all Japanese know how to correctly unfold a paper Japanese lantern before lighting the candle, thus endangering the lives of many Elvis fans at once.
-The only store where you can buy magic markers to write your name on the wall at Graceland is Boulevard Souvenirs. This is also the only Elvis souvenir store that sells t-shirts with pictures of girls in rebel flag bikinis that say “tequila makes my clothes fall off".
-Anyone that needed a bra when Elvis was alive should not go out in public without one now. Tube tops are especially unflattering.
-If you consider the stroll to the Chinese buffet to get food while at Graceland, it is probably still worth the extra few steps to go on down to KFC. You would only be disappointed with the crab legs.
-The French are confused with the pricing policies of KFC and a table full of them can obsess over a receipt throughout an entire meal.
-KFC foods may contain ingredients that cause 6-7 year old girls to dance around and chant, “Go Elvis! Go Elvis!”
-The winner of the UK version of “American Idol” from 4 seasons ago makes a great Elvis impersonator even if he has only been singing for 4 years.
-Elvis impersonators from Tuscaloosa, Alabama look more like professional wrestler Bill “Superstar” Dundee than Elvis.
-The Elvis folding chair comes in the “Vegas”, “GI Blues” and “Blue Hawaii” designs.
-Some Elvis fans from St. Louis impersonate Elvis fans from Sweden.
-The only weight available for the Elvis bowling ball is 16 lbs.
Singer, Songwriter, Entertainer, Storyteller